bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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