Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
one two three fourrrrnication!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
