I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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