Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
