I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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