dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize