it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
