So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
