I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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