So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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