I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
