laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You don't make any sense
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