I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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