you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
