thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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