return my video game
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
