Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
