I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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