You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize