i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
