Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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