His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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