Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
