I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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