Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
