I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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