The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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