then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
