No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
