And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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