isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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