Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
