You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Its about making memories worth repressing
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
