Buhtt sex?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
