when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize