Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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