how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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