you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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