Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
