Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
