windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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