I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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