I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
