ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
