if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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