OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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