Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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