my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
