Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
