And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
