end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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