Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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