how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
