Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
