in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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