i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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