i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
