I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
