Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize