hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
