tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
