Tell her she can't have a vagina
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
