I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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