What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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