Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
