I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
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