HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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