So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
