Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
