He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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