this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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