friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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