i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
