I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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