if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
