Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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