did you get engaged???
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
