Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
