I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
