just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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